Respectability politics means:

Respectability politics is a set of rules that men, straight people, cis people, abled people, etc (privileged people) think they want women, queer people, trans people, disabled people, etc to follow so that those marginalized people can be respected.

But the root of that is the prejudice that privileged people hold. Marginalized people following a particular rule will never be enough for privileged people – there are always more rules because of that prejudice. These rules are impossible to follow and always neverending.

Examples of rules:

• if you don’t want to get pregnant, don’t have sex!
• Trans women must look like women in order to be treated as women!
• Black people should not be angry!
• Don’t be lazy and you will have money!